i deserve better ...

i am not perfect, far from it
a continuous work in progress
even so, i love the Lord Jesus 
i help strangers and friends alike
when friends are in need, we jump to it
i empathise and waterworks are turned on easily 
i am a very selective touchy-feely hugger
there are seasons when my faith is stoked
seasons when my faith is refined in the furnace
my children and fishing are high priorities
outdoorsy yet totally comfortable with books at home
don't need crowds nor drinking mates for mood or atmosphere
sitting quietly with a book 
or breaking out in guffaws with close friends
sitting quietly with friends without need for conversation 
especially with my partner, and to revel in each other's company
fine cuisine is great but hawker food is also cool 
quite often convicted by 1 Chronicles 21:24, 
'it must cost me something" comes into play in many areas
i don't mind 'investing' in many a thing 
even when there is no ROI depending on person/item/issue/subject matter
but i can't stand promise breakers
repeat offenders who think nothing of not keeping their word
& people who change their minds/commitments at their whim and fancy 
while the other party is supposed to or is expected to let things slide
those who take things for granted
the selfish betrayers and traitors
if you can't even respect yourself
i guess i can begin to understand why you can't or don't respect me
and maybe that's why you have no or weak convictions/principles
my partner must be a woman of principle and conviction in the Living Word
my helper believes it is NEVER right to break a promise made to children
an apology + explanation is the least a child can expect if we can't keep our word
externals matter little to me, the heart and spirit are vital to me 
when i love, i love deeply without reservation 
i give my all and i expect the same
i have never played nor engaged in extra-maritals
and i don't intend to ever start
called to serve, i am not a service provider to be used as one wishes
i will no longer come after someone else's mother, brother, your ex(-es) or your anyone else 
other than Jesus
if you can't do something that simple, 
then you have NO business being my partner
even less getting married
i deserve better