expectations ...

of late i've been repeatedly told either not to have expectations OR to lower my expectations
in order to be content or more precisely, to have some measure of happiness & peace ... and that not everything revolves around me ... hmmmm

being wot i am ... it is difficult to understand much less accept 
and i was also given examples and a recommended contact about managing expectations, ie lowering expectations

i looked up secular opinions
Managing client expectations
may not seem related at first but the same principles apply ... getting to know each other, standing by each other and communicating, ie no difference or same difference as some may prefer

followed by Biblical teachings
Managing Expectations: Building Strong Relationships at Home, Church and Work  if only this was made known or shared a decade ago ... seems our church leaders lack this understanding or application ... i wonder if ecumenism is at work in our church ... another story for another day 
Faith needs an expectation
Word in due season - the power of expectation
Expecting God to act
Bible verses about expectations
Bible verses about unrealistic expectations
Do you have unrealistic expectations for your marriage?
When expectations are unfulfilled
Working through unreal expectations
Marriage Killer #1: Unrealistic expectations
Should Christians have expectations?
How can we build strong relationships?
Changing expectations 

both sides seem to agree that expectations cannot or should not be lowered but communication is key and negotiations are important
in fact, a Christian's walk is pretty much about expectations 
so .. what happens when it has been communicated time & time again over the years
but negotiations are not on the table ... looks like i either have to accept it or move on 
moving on does not equate with giving up ... just means i'm starting afresh
i've been thinking and am increasingly under the opinion that i've been dealt a bait 'n switch
a very selfish bait 'n switch ... over the years i've seen the extent of that stubborn selfishness culminating in seeing the depth of that selfishness when i began to love someone else 
the non-negotiable stance that her family takes precedence and priority over our family  
the betrayal and backstabbing and talking behind my back to maintain that stance 
and the irony on Good Friday? 
do NOT take the Word of God for granted ... something she has no problems with ... taking everything for granted 
and it is something that i've drilled endlessly over the years about the wickedness of taking things for granted .... well, since you don't want to care or is incapable of caring ... i guess you don't need to care anymore 

no, expectations should never be lowered unless there are extenuating circumstances, ie debilitating disease, death
i had the chance to ask someone today, who for the life of me i can't seem to recall with whom i spoke with today (my thanks dear friend), about expectations and lowering them ... the answer? 

THAT IS A COP OUT ! 
how succinct how simple and accurate ... a cop out
there are standards to maintain ... anything else is an excuse
if you can't keep your word, at least be frank and honest about it 
if you are in the habit of NOT keeping your word and expect others to let it slide, you're better off not making any promises or commitments at all ... sooner or later, everyone else around you will find out or be affected by it ... and you'll eventually be shunned ... except by those of the same feathers or the ecumenistical, ie love covers everything and everyone, to the extent of subverting, twisting and/or ignoring the truth

and today i attended a close family friend's daughter's birthday ... cum said friend's birthday, too :D
i went without expectations or at least expecting just the immediate family 
lo & behold the in laws were present with other friends of the family, too !
come to think of it, every family gathering had practically the same turning up more or less
and so i got done by own lack of memory ... sighhh 

had no idea wot to expect either at the venue 
the food ... 'twas pretty good and i think they spent a fair sum for a table that seemed to seat more than 20 

despite having no expectations, i guess the turn out was more or less expected ... at the back of my mind or subconsciously ... so no surprises there
except for the part where one of the boys got scalded by hot wax that was on a tripod used to heat up tea ... ah, children ... learn things the hard way 

as for expectations .. in this context ... back to square one OR as i prefer, nothing ventured, nothing gained